Dear Pain, You Don't Own Me
by SHUT UP FOUR
Summary: It felt remarkable to be back in his arms, but I knew that feeling was fleeting as I knew what would happen to us. We were doomed.
1. Desperate Death

**_Alright! Here it is! My Inuyasha fanfic that I just got inspired to write, it'll probably be more of a short story, but hopefully it'll get enough likes to be written out into a full on lengthy story for you guys to read and enjoy! As a disclaimer, I do not own Inuyasha, though I wish I did! And I hope you guys enjoy reading this! It should be fun to read, or so I hope!_**

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><p><em>It was simply my fate. And I know that now, but I still have a hard time dissecting everything to make sense of it. I thought I loved him, and now, it means nothing to me. He means nothing to me. Not without the one thing that we lacked. Honesty. <em>

It was quiet. I heard nothing, I felt nothing. Vaguely, through my darkened eyesight, I saw Sango and Miroku fighting to protect me. Kirara was attacking another youkai akin to herself and Shippou was crying on my stomach. I felt my blood rushing from my body. _Was this how I would die?_ Naraku was a force to be reckoned with, I knew this much. And yet somehow I did not see the difference in his power when we approached him for what should've been our final battle. In hindsight, it was. I was going to die and without my ability to sense the jewel, they wouldn't know where to hit him. My friend would die and it was my fault for being weak and pathetic. The longer I lay here the more blood pours out and the closer to death I became. Black spots formed in my line of vision, something similar to Kikyo's soul collectors, only black. The pressure on my stomach was gone then and I saw Shippou enter my sight. He was a mess, crying and throwing one horrible fit. He was angry, I could feel that somehow.

"Shippou," I could not hear myself speak, but Shippou sure did. He sniffled up the snot in his nose and tried to quiet down for my sake. "Take care of them okay?" I had to give him one last sense of necessity before I went. I was his mother in a lot of ways and I hated myself for leaving him like this. Pain took me then and I cried out, this much I heard. Shippou ran away from me as my body contorted in painful movements. The miasma was taking over my being now and I could hardly feel anything beside the pain of it all. I felt tears brim at my eyes and then Sango was rushing over to me. Briefly I felt her hands applying pressure to my wounds and then everything went black.

I awoke gasping for air the next second, in a place I couldn't quite recognize. When I took note of my surroundings, I realized I was in the afterlife. Though, my exact location shocked me. I was at Inuyasha's father's tomb. The skeletal bird demons were around as per usual, but the gateway to the place I had just come from was open for me to see. Inuyasha, with a final thrust of his mighty sword destroyed Naraku and the jewel fell to the ground, tainted by the previous darkness it had been trapped in. No one would be able to purify it now.

"What do you wish to do?" I heard a deep voice ask from behind me. Under normal circumstances I would've turned, ready to try and defend myself. But I was dead, what harm could this unknown person do to me? I continued to watch the portal, my friends were shaking my now lifeless body and I shuddered at my own disappointment. I had let them all down. What Inuyasha did though, hurt the most. He stood above me, silent and watching. He made no move to grab at me like everyone else. He seemed hurt, but he knew better than to try and bring something dead back to life.

"What are my options?" I asked the voice. Turning them, the seemingly thin air here lifting my hair in what should've been a gentle breeze. The man I saw was stunning, his hair white as snow, similar to Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's. His eyes were that same golden color that I loved so much.

"There are three," he told me. I waited for him to continue. "You can stay here and continue on with your fate. Or you could return to them and live as you would have had you not been pulled into the past." I was going to interject, but the man held a hand up to silence me. My mouth snapped shut and I waited for him again. "Or, you could use what's left of my power to become immortal. However, there is a catch." He told me. I nodded, hoping that it would be something small so I could choose that option. I wanted so badly to see Inuyasha again. "If you do choose this third option, you will never be human again. You will never see your family again. And you will never know Inuyasha's true love, but you will be able to return to him and your friends." I felt my jaw loosen and drop. To return to him but never be human, never see my family again… and what was worse, never know his love. To be honest, I didn't know if truly did love me, but something in my mind and gut always told me he did. And to be given the chance to return to him, but never be loved by him? That was simply cruel. I wanted him and needed him. He was everything I'd lived for the past two years.

"Can I have a moment to think about it?" I asked him. The man nodded and stood there, silently, watching me as I thought things over. It was unnerving, but I would have to deal with it I suppose. To never feel his love? I didn't know if I could live with that. But I so desperately wanted to return, to live again. To see him and Shippou and Sango and Miroku. I wanted to see their lived pan out as they should've if Naraku had never existed. And it wasn't only not knowing his love that upset me, but to never see my family again? I didn't know if I could handle that. I loved my family. "Could I see my family one last time before I make my decision?" I wondered. The man sighed just then.

"You may see them, but only as you are. Your spirit will be with them, but they will not be able to hear or see you." He told me.

"And what of my body? Will it remain in the feudal era?" the man shook his head.

"That is up to you. If you wish it to stay here, it will. But if you want your family to know what has happened to you, then it will be returned there, but only if you chose to remain this way," he explained. I stared at the ground, trying to find something interesting in order to distract myself.

"What will I become should I choose to return to Inuyasha?" I had to know what would happen to me if I sacrificed my humanity to be with him and not with him at the same time.

"Every soul has its choices. And more often than not, people with this option that take it become demons." He told me. My eyes widened. I wouldn't be a miko anymore. I wouldn't know the pure calamity that was that life. "Fear not," the man chuckled and moved closer to me. His hand caressed my cheek tenderly. He seemed to sense my fear. "You were born a miko, there will always be remnants of this within you, but should you choose to return a demon, it would be buried deep within yourself only to come out if you die again and are reincarnated." What would I do? If I returned, I would be immortal and demon and never know Inuyasha's love and never see my family again. How could I possibly live that way?

"But, I want my family to know what happened to me," was it selfish of me to want that for them? So they wouldn't wonder what happened to just think I up and disappeared. If I knew them like I did, then they would probably assume I was dead, but wasn't it better to know than to wonder? It would cause less agony and worry. But to die, and return my body to them and have them mourn my death. Wasn't that selfish as well? The last thing I wanted to do was to be selfish. I would have to do some growing up it seemed.

"That I cannot assure, but I can tell you that I will personally do my best to get the message to them before my last spirit dissipates," he told me. That made me feel better. I sighed and looked back to the portal of my friends crying over my death. Sango had thrown herself onto my body in what I assumed to be one last effort to bring me back.

"I want to return to them, I need my friends," I whispered. With the man's heightened senses, he heard me and nodded.

"So shall it be, remember the consequences," that was the last thing I heard before I felt myself tumbling into through the portal and back to my body.

Everything was still black, but I could hear Sango crying and the air around me smelled of battle and blood, my blood. My senses were almost immediately sharper, but I felt an immense pain in my head and almost cried out in pain. That was when I opened my eyes to now silent warriors. Sango's eyes were widened with surprise and Shippou had fainted it seemed. Inuyasha stared at me, a blank expression on his face, but I didn't know why. Miroku was crying now, his gratitude plain on his face.

"Kagome-chan?" Sango called. I winced as I tried to sit up, my wounds were still fresh. "You shouldn't move," she exclaimed, trying to stop me from moving. I sighed and rested back on my elbows.

"But how Kagome-sama?" I heard Miroku ask. I tried to chuckle, but pain overtook me when I did so. I winced back again and decided it would be best to ignore the question.

"Kaede," was all I said. Sango seemed to understand what I meant and asked Inuyasha to carry me to her. He was silent as he moved, bending over to pick me up gently. No one seemed to notice the changes in me except for him and I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind. It felt remarkable to be back in his arms, but I knew that feeling was fleeting as I knew what would happen to us. We were doomed.

Shippou sat on Inuyasha's shoulder the entire way there, silently crying because he was so happy. Or it seemed he was happy. He looked at me with a sad smile on his face and it made me wonder if he knew what had happened. It didn't matter right now though, because right now was probably my last moment with Inuyasha like this. That thought nearly killed me all over again, but I couldn't think of that right now. Now I needed to be with him, for the last few moments that I had before he realized he would never love me again. Because then I would be alone.

We reached Kaede's hut quicker than I had wanted, but I was glad to be able to get these wounds checked out. Somewhere in the back of my mind I felt them healing already, but I knew it would take a while. The wounds were quite excessive.

"Would all ye give Kagome-sama and I a moment alone?" she asked gently. I wanted to cower back into a corner. I knew she was going to ask questions, but I trusted this woman with my very life countless times and I would not disrespect her in such a fashion as to cower away from her when she was only curious as to my situation. Everyone else left and this gave the older woman time to ask the questions I knew everyone else wanted to know the answers to. "Child, what happened to ye?" she asked. I sighed and sat up, pain rushing through me momentarily. She made to help me, but I stopped her. I had to get used to this body.

"I died," I replied simply. She nodded, as if she already knew that much. "And then Inuyasha's father brought me back to life by giving me his last remaining spiritual energy. I," what words could I use to make her understand? To explain what I had done so to see the man that would never love me again? There were none.

"You're a demon, no longer a human," she finished for me. My head snapped up to look at her. How had she been able to guess?

"How did you,"

"Child, I have lived many years, it does not take much to recognize a demonic pact when ye see one. Especially when ye eyes have changed color," she explained. I nodded, slightly surprised by this. Though, the thing that shocked me more was the fact that my eyes were a different color. "They are darker than they previously were. Almost black now even," I nodded. I would simply have to get used to this. "Your wounds are healing well, on they're own. Not much of my help was needed but to wrap those wounds in gauze," the old miko explained. I did not respond just then and instead chose to lye back on my side and stare at the wall across from me. Kaede said nothing, but collected her things and left the hut. I didn't want to see anyone right now; I simply wanted to be alone. As it was doomed by my new fate.

_You can stay here and continue on with your fate._

I was supposed to die today. And yet here I am, defying my very destiny to be with someone who will never love me ever again. I was selfish and stupid. Agony, I knew, would be my only company for the rest of my days. I didn't need an oracle to know that truth. But somehow, I would go on. If only to see his smiling face again. To know that he is happy and is loved, even if it is not with me. I wanted to see Sango and Miroku and the beautiful family they would start together. I wanted to watch Shippou grow into a strong demon. Was that so selfish of me to desire? I had a hard time believing so, and yet the feeling of dread that washed over me once I made this choice was repulsive. It disgusted me, made me hate myself to the point where I didn't know what to think about any of it. I loved him and I had once thought he loved me, but with this new circumstance, how was I to know anything anymore?

Somewhere outside the hut I heard the shuffling of feet and immediately knew that someone was coming to see me. By the smell, I could only assume it was Sango. Oh how I loved her, she was my very best friend. But even she couldn't change what I had done, though I had a feeling she would go to the ends of the earth to make things different. She was just that good of a person.

"Kagome-chan?" I heard her call. She walked further into the hut and to my room. I saw a small smile on her face and she moved to sit down next to me. "How are you feeling?" she asked me. I shrugged and then sat up to talk with her.

"Better, just glad that I could return to you guys," I murmured. Sango nodded. Though I couldn't ignore the blatant look of curiosity on her face. "I really don't want to explain how it all worked out Sango. Just know that I came back to be with all of you, you're my family now," I told her. That didn't seem to be good enough for her, but she accepted the explanation in any case. She opened her arms and I felt them wrap around my form. She felt so small now, but it was nice to be hugged again.

"I'm glad you're okay," she told me quietly. It was barely audible, at least for the human ear. But I heard it loud and clear.

"Me too," I told her, masking the hint of sorrow in my voice.

Somewhere between the conversation Sango and I had afterward and the night, I fell asleep. I don't remember this at all, but it was quite apparent to me when I opened my tired eyes the next morning. I glanced around the small room and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Inuyasha sitting across from me.

"Keh, you're a demon and you didn't even sense me sitting here," he scoffed. My eyes widened and I sat up, realizing then that my wounds were almost completely gone. "Not only that, but you reek of my father," I winced at the anger in his voice.

"Inuyasha, I,"

"Save it," he murmured. His eyes shifted away from me then. "I don't care what you are, I'm just," he faltered on his words. "Glad you're okay," I didn't let that give me hope. He wouldn't love me anymore, which was part of the pact. I knew that, and yet, I wanted him to. I wanted that statement to mean everything to me. But it simply couldn't because I wouldn't let it. Truthfully, I didn't know what to say to that.

"Thank you," I murmured. He knew what had happened to me. Thought he probably didn't know the fine details. He didn't know that he would never love me again. He didn't know that I could never see my family again. He didn't know that I sacrificed everything I had ever known for him to not love me, simply so I could see him again and to be near him. I guess it didn't matter whether he loved me or not, just that I was with him. Thinking about it, I had once prior come to that conclusion, but the sheer reality of it hadn't hit me until now. We sat there in silence for what seemed like an eternity before he finally spoke.

"Naraku is dead and the jewel has been locked away," he told me. I nodded my head. They must've done that when I was asleep, because I couldn't have been dead for that long. The lack of emotion in his voice scared me despite my previous thoughts. I suppose part of me still desires that love and care. But I know I'll never have it again. It was inevitable. "You're free to return home if you want," and then he stood and walked out of the room. When I knew he was out of the room I let the tears that had been threatening to fall escape my grasp. I felt my body convulse and then I crumpled onto the floor. I wanted so badly for that to be true in that moment. I don't think I ever expected his lack of love to feel like this. He was so cold, like he had been when we first met on that fateful night. Oh I how I hated that night. If only I had never been pulled into the well by Mistress Centipede. Day one of my pact and I already wanted to return to death.

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><p><em><strong>Well, what did ya think? Hmm? Well anyway, let me know in a review if you love it or hate it or what I could do to make it better! Also, let me know what you think about how I'm doing portraying Kagome, I'm always self conscious <strong>__**those things! Anyways, until next time!**_

___**XOXO, Alaska**_


	2. Detached Domination

_**And here's chapter two! I hope you guys like it! I didn't take too long to write as I'm very excited about this story! But anyway, enjoy the chapter and remember to review! It's a great motivator (: Oh! And just to let all of you know, the next couple chapters will seem like they're going to wind up being Kagome/Kouga, but fear not, it's completely unrequited on Kagome's part. She's doing her best to make it known that she does not want to be with him!  
><strong>_

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><p><em>I can't remember a time after that when he looked at me with a remote sense of affection. But shouldn't I have expected that? I don't know, I suppose a deeper part of me wished his father had been lying. But then, lying would've been pointless in that situation, wouldn't it?<em>

The water pelted at my head and shoulder and back and every part of me as I sat under the waterfall. I needed to concentrate, to forget about everything. Thinking about the things I'd lost would do me no good, I knew that. But somehow I couldn't stop myself. I knew what my new life would entail, and yet, somehow I had tried to think that everything could go back to the way it was. It had been harder to convince myself than I intentionally thought it would've been, I should've expected that. Honestly, I should've expected a lot of things with this new life, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. I didn't want to let go, and a part of me knew that would be my undoing. I did however; feel wiser with my new self. I didn't feel so small and feeble compared to Inuyasha and the rest of my friends. I felt that I could now fight to protect myself effectively. Though, I had yet to figure out what kind of demon I was and what my new abilities were. And right now, I simply did not care. I wanted to calm down, not work myself up.

I did my best to take a deep breath through the water, but it was difficult. I needed to relax my body and not focus so much on the water pounding at my back, it was nothing in comparison to everything else, and I had to remember that.

"Kagome-sama," I smelled Miroku before I heard him, something I would have to get used to as well. I didn't respond, but he seemed to know that I knew he was there. "Can I ask you something," there it was. The curiosity that I knew would eventually expose itself with Miroku. Moving out of the waterfall I grabbed the white yukata nearby to wrap around myself so not to be indecent.

"What is it that you want to know," I asked him, knowing full well what he was going to ask me. He sighed and then shifted to sit next to me.

"How are you this," I tilted my head at his question just then, not quite sure what he meant. His wording was strange to me.

"You mean how am I alive?" I tried to clarify. He shook his head and I knew in an instant that he knew I wasn't human anymore. I nodded and then sighed. "Inuyasha's father. I saw him in the afterlife, at his tomb and he offered me three options. Those options however, I will not disclose," I explained. Miroku nodded that information seemingly enough for him in that moment.

"For what it's worth, Kagome-sama, we're all glad to see you're okay," he told me. And with that the monk stood and walked away. I was yet again left alone to my thoughts. I had a feeling that would happen a lot as I continued on with this existence. Maybe it would be best for me to travel, to see Japan as it was and gather knowledge and become stronger. And maybe it would be best for me to remain here with Inuyasha, even though his love would never reach me again. The utter pain from that knowledge would have killed me all over again had I not been immortal. Sure I loved being around him, but this, it was almost too much. He didn't look at me the same anymore. Like I wasn't worth protecting anymore. Like I wasn't special anymore. And I hated that he looked at me that way now. I stood then, and made my way back to the village. Maybe I should travel. It might be the smartest thing I could do right now.

I made it back to the village and for a long time stood by the edge of the boundaries, watching the interactions between the people there. They were happy, smiling, the village revived to its previous happiness and abundance. I had done all of this to see other people happy, something I never seemed to accomplish. But this time, it had worked. No one had anything to fear anymore. Naraku was gone and the threat of the jewel was locked away for what I hoped was forever. I felt then that I would be spending a lot of time to myself, I didn't know how to act around them anymore. They were my friends and yet, I felt like an outsider. The dog lord hadn't mentioned this part of the pact I'd made for Inuyasha. But then, did any of that really matter? Especially when my death had fueled Inuyasha to destroy the very threat that had once plagued this world?

"Peaceful, isn't it?" that was Sango's voice. I didn't jump, I didn't turn to acknowledge her. I simply stood there.

"It is," I replied. She moved to stand directly next to me then, and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Kagome-chan, we all love you. You know that right?" I nodded and felt her happiness at this. "Shippou feels you drifting away, and moreover, so does Miroku. And so do I," my head fell forward, my eyes meeting the ground as I tried to not think about what she was saying. Did they want me to drift away? "Please Kagome-chan, we almost lost you once, we don't want to again," and then she was walking away. What was with my friends leaving me with these deep statements to contemplate? I needed to get away, in that moment, I knew this statement to be nothing more than simple fact. I needed to figure out who I was now. I needed to find my new place in this world. And I couldn't do that cooped up in this small village. By most standards, it was a medium sized village, but with this revelation, it felt more like a rabbit's nest than it did a village. More a prison than a home. What would I do now? I didn't want to leave Shippou. Maybe I could bring him with me. I would just have to see what my options were when I told everyone of my decision.

"You're what?" Inuyasha asked me, his voice holding anger. I held back the urge to glare at him. Still as arrogant and possessive as ever, even though he didn't love me.

"I'm leaving. And I want to take Shippou with me. I feel that I need time to figure out who I am after my latest experiences," I explained. Sango seemed sad, but she nodded. Miroku put his arm around her and rubbed circles into her shoulder. She would be upset, and so would Miroku. But I somehow knew Inuyasha would only be mad because of everything we'd been through. Shippou smiled brightly at this prospect.

"You want me to come with you?" he asked, jumping into my lap. I smiled at him, the first smile in this new life and nodded. He hugged my shoulder and then fell back down into my lap, cuddling against my legs. I loved this little demon that much I knew for certain. Inuyasha's anger flared, I could sense it. And I could see it as well, when he stood up and left in a huff. I made to get up and Shippou jumped out of my lap.

"What is your problem?" I asked him once I got outside. He turned to me, his eyes holding nothing but resentment.

"You!" he yelled. "Look at what you've become! What exactly happened to you?" he snapped. I glared at him in return and shoved one finger into his chest.

"You happened to me Inuyasha! And I am so sick of this! I have a mind of my own and I can do whatever I please!" It wasn't until that moment that I realized how good it felt to yell at him. To finally let everything out. This man had done nothing but ruin me the past two years and I was finally telling him off. "All those times you ran off to see _her_! All those time you used me to find those damn shards! I was nothing but a tool for you wasn't I?" I asked him. I watched as his ears shrank back and he took a step back and away from me. It wasn't until then that I realized my blood was boiling from the anger. He must've sensed this. "I spent so many years being here for you, sticking by your side," I murmured. "Only to have you choose her. And then when I finally died, you didn't even scream. I watched your reaction. You didn't even care," I hung my head and felt tears escape my eyes then. Did I matter at all to him before all of this?

"That's not true Kagome," he told me. I looked up then and looked into his eyes. I couldn't tell if he was lying or if he was being honest.

"Isn't it? Everyone else was crying and holding onto me, they wanted me back. You stood there, your face void of emotion. I watched you Inuyasha, don't you ever forget that," I replied. He seemed hurt by that statement. "And don't you ever forget that I love you, but I am leaving. And that's that, Shippou will be coming with me, and you will not be following us," after everything I had done to be with him, I found myself needing to be with myself before that could ever happen. Not that it ever would. I walked away from him and called to Shippou. The kit ran out of the hut and hopped up onto my shoulder. I walked with him toward the inn, having found a lack of desire to be around Inuyasha right now. I loved him didn't I? If I didn't then all of this was for nothing.

The next day I found myself and Shippou on the road, with no end goal in mind. Maybe we could pay a visit to Kouga. I hadn't seen him since before my new life and it would be nice to see him again. Shippou didn't seem to mind the idea at all either. So maybe it would be a good idea.

"Kagome," Shippou began as I walked. I nodded in acknowledgement and he continued. "What kind of demon are you?" he questioned. I shrugged.

"I honestly don't know, I would have to assume a dog demon considering Inuyasha's father was one. But then, I don't have white hair, so I can't be certain," I replied. Shippou laughed and then jumped down to land in my arms.

"I find it silly that you don't know what you are," he giggled. I laughed with him and then paused mid-step. Another demon was nearby and I did not sense good intentions.

"Shippou, be quiet for a minute," I told him. How would I protect him? I didn't know how to handle being a demon, I barely even knew how to effectively shoot an arrow. It wasn't until I felt the familiar aura of a wolf demon that I felt better about the situation. He mustn't have recognized my smell, because he seemed angry. I couldn't help but laugh at him when he burst out of the foliage.

"Hello Kouga," he stopped in his prowling long enough to realize who I was and then he developed a smile.

"Kagome!" he shouted, his voice holding nothing but happiness. He didn't seem to care too much about what I was now. "Oh my dear Kagome," he rushed over to me and picked me up. I found myself welcoming the contact, Shippou didn't seem to however. He jumped down onto the ground and avoided my feet when Kouga set me back down. "What happened to you?" his smile never faltered through this question, a refreshing change.

"Long story short, a very gracious dog demon saved my life and now I myself am a demon. Though, I'm unsure as to what kind," I explained. Kouga chuckled and then scratched the back of his head.

"Well isn't that something else. Here I was, ready to slaughter the enemy demon on my way to see you and what do I find, but the very woman I was searching for. Kind of puts a damper on the situation," my face paled at the statement. He was excited to kill someone? Seemed as though I'd misjudged him. Hopefully however, he was only joking.

"Sorry to upset the delicate balance of killing and happiness Kouga," I laughed nervously. He shook his head, laughing some more.

"I was only kidding Kagome. Don't worry, I don't get too excited to kill other demons, I'm not that bad," he put his arm around my shoulder then and started walking. Shippou jogged to catch up with us, glaring the whole time. It was understandable, Kouga's hand was taking up Shippou's spot on my shoulder. The moments and conversations that followed were fleeting but wonderful. I wasn't thinking of Inuyasha and I wasn't thinking of the very possible mistake I'd made. I was only thinking of being with people that truly wanted to be around me. Kouga, for one, thought it was fantastic that I was now a demon. He actually reveled in the idea. And slowly, but surely I found myself loving being in his company. He might've been arrogant and a little brash, but he was kind and he cared for me. Shippou didn't take to him as well as I had, but he would eventually. Shippou was just protective of me that was all.

"Hey, why don't you stay at the den with me? I mean, you would have protection there and they all already adore you," he suggested. I thought about it for a moment and then turned to Shippou, he didn't seem happy about it, but he wouldn't argue with me.

"Sounds wonderful Kouga, but I really think we should rest for the night. Shippou's young and needs his rest," I explained. Kouga nodded and we found a clearing to sleep in shortly after that. I didn't have any of my things, but then, I was a demon now; did I really need any of that? Probably, but I wouldn't worry about it right now. It was all probably destroyed in the final battle anyway.

_Inuyasha_

What was this feeling? Looking at Kagome earlier, it hadn't been the same. She was different and somehow he knew he was different. She had died, he'd smelled it. And then she came back a demon, no longer human. No longer his precious Kagome who needed him entirely and completely. It was a bit selfish of him he supposed, but what else could he think? She'd always needed him and now, now she just didn't. And that epiphany scared him more than anything. What was worse was he smelled his father on her. She had been resurrected by him with the last of his power that much Inuyasha knew. It was only a matter of time before Sesshomaru came looking for the source of the scent. He just didn't understand why she would leave him with Sango and Miroku and people that didn't care about him like she did. He was being selfish, he didn't assume this anymore; he knew he was. She'd loved him before and by Kami, she loved him now. So why had she left? Inuyasha just couldn't quite figure any of it out.

"Inuyasha, a demon is terrorizing the village!" Miroku shouted. In all his jumbling thoughts, Inuyasha had failed to notice all the screaming and banging outside his hut. His eyes widened and he rushed outside to stop the demon from hurting to many innocent people. The next few moments were like clockwork for him, slicing and dicing. It was an automatic reaction a demon hurting people in his home. He would not tolerate it, despite Kagome's absence. And despite what that absence left in his heart. Nothing.

_Kagome_

The silence in the wolf den was nice. It was soothing even, to be in such a peaceful place. It hadn't taken us long to reach the place Kouga called home, this I was glad for. His people had welcomed me and my kit with open arms, another thing I was grateful for. Ginta and Hakkaku were doing wonderfully, both of them having found potential mates by this point. But Kouga was still holding out, for the woman he and I both knew he would never have. I just didn't feel that way about him. This was devastating in its own way. Oh to be in love with someone who actually cared about you, it was a woeful thought, but a welcomed one none the less. I felt Shippou wedge himself closer to me and smiled, wrapping my arm around him to give him the comfort he sought. I knew this was a change for him, but I didn't want to be without at least one person from my old life. It seemed selfish, but was it truly? This I did not know, but I would have to live with this decision, because there was no way I would leave him all alone if I had to be.

"Kagome, why are you still awake?" Kouga asked. The suddenness of his voice shocked me into a jump, something that hadn't happened since I'd come back from the dead. I looked to him after making sure Shippou hadn't woken up. Then I gave him a pleasant smile.

"I couldn't sleep, there's a lot going on in my mind right now," I told him truthfully. He smiled, loving that I was being so honest with him I suppose. He nodded then and held his hand out to me.

"Come with me," he murmured. I gave Shippou a concerned look, but stood anyway. The kit was fast asleep by now and it would take two dump trucks of manure to wake him, of that I had to be sure. I took Kouga's hand then and allowed him to the lead me to the entrance of the den. The sheer volume of the waterfall was deafening, but it was soothing in more ways than one. We followed the path that lead out of the cave and up to the top of the mountain, despite its rocky exterior, the mountain wasn't too hard on one's feet. So when we scaled the wall, I didn't feel much more than minor discomfort. The sight that I beheld was breathtaking. A full moon and a sky full of stars, closer than I'd ever seen them.

"It's beautiful Kouga," I murmured. He seemed pleased by my reaction and then I found myself standing alone. Looking around, I found Kouga gesturing for me to follow him. He took me down the other side of the mountain and to a field guarded by mountainous walls all the way around. Flowers and trees and bushes littered the field, giving it a serene look in the moonlight. I gave Kouga a smile and walked before him, into the field. It was so beautiful here, I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to leave. This peace was something I wasn't sure if I'd ever known before. And it was then, in that moment that I realized I had made the right choice in leaving. Sure it was hard being away from him when this whole thing happened the way it had because of him, but I would grow up, I would move on. And more importantly, I would have to stay strong. If not for myself then for Shippou who needed me to be his mother. He was my kit and I owed him that much.

"I was hoping you would like it," he told me. Kouga was still behind me, but I didn't care. Being here with him in this place was more than I could have ever asked for. Sure I would probably never feel the way I did about Inuyasha for the wolf demon behind me, but he deserved my respect at the very least.

"It's truly wonderful," I turned around and he was in front of me suddenly. I gasped and looked up at him. His skin glistened in the moonlight and his blue sparkled like pools of water that I could get lost in for hours. He was attractive, of that I was certain. But could he ever compare to my Hanyou? I doubted it. But maybe… no, I was being weak. I couldn't jump to the next willing man all because I knew Inuyasha didn't love me anymore. And yet as I looked up at him, I found myself wanting to give in to the need, the want, the desire to be loved by someone. By anyone even. I needed to feel like I was necessary as more than a mother to a fox demon. I wanted to find my place in this new world of mine. And I couldn't think of any other place to start. There were just so many thoughts rushing around in my head that I couldn't think straight. I'd never been with a man other than Inuyasha and he and I had only ever kissed once before. And that was only to stop him from changing. "I," Kouga stopped me with his lips. My eyes widened and I pushed myself away from him, my hands on his chest. He looked hurt, but I couldn't stand there and let myself betray him… "I'm so sorry Kouga," and then I felt my legs moving for me. I needed to get back to Shippou, what if he had woken up and was looking for me? I couldn't do this. I couldn't move on from him. He had left an imprint in my heart, one that could only be filled by him. It was as though he'd made hand prints in my heart from fresh concrete. They would be there forever, I knew they would. And I didn't know if I wanted that to ever change.

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><p><em><strong>And that was chapter two! I really hope I'm nailing Kagome's character as much as I think I am. If not, PLEASE let me know! I want to make sure I stay as in character as possible! Well anyway, I'm off to bed. Night all! Until next time!<strong>_

_**XOXO, Alaska**_


	3. Exuberant Events

_**Here's chapter three! I hope you guys like it! Please remember to review! They're my life force practically, haha. So yes, read and enjoy!**_

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><p><em>The time I spent with Kouga was fleeting and wonderful. He forgave me for those moments when he tried to get me to love him only to have me push him away. Though, I suppose I was the one who needed to do the forgiving in those cases. Either way, neither of us was angry with the other, and that was a blessing all on its own.<em>

I stood there and watched Shippou play with the wolf pups, a small smile on my face. We hadn't been here long, a couple days at most and everything was going smoothly. Kouga was helping me learn hand to hand combat so I could defend myself when I finally did continue on in search of more like me. It was weird to think that I was going to be traveling to find people who I could call family. Sure I had Sango, Miroku, and Shippou; but they paled in comparison to people who were like me. I still had yet to figure out what kind of demon I was and that upset me, but I would eventually figure it out I suppose. Hopefully I was a dog demon like Sesshomaru and Inuyasha, but I highly doubted that. I had a feeling Kouga would have told me if I was. Especially since he hated the smell of dog demons.

"Nice to watch isn't it?" Kouga was always asking me things like that. I think somewhere deep down he was hoping that this place, with all its wonders and peace, would convince me to stay. But I just couldn't bring myself to make that decision.

"It is, there's nothing that pleases me more than seeing my kit happy," I replied. He seemed happy with that answer and in turn placed his arm around my shoulder. It wasn't an uncomfortable move, just a slightly awkward one, but I had gotten used to those with Kouga. He liked to show his affection and I guess I just didn't mind. It was nice to have someone show that they cared about me other than Shippou. And even while I was being selfish in letting him do so, I couldn't get mad with myself for it. Some part of me just needed to reassurance right now.

"Well he definitely seems happy. You are doing a great job with him," Kouga agreed. I laughed and turned my head to face him. There it was again, that look he always gave me. I couldn't help but wonder how we would be together whenever he gave me that look, but I knew it would never work. Not until I found myself and was officially over Inuyasha. And that could've taken years for all I knew.

"I just hope I don't let him down. I don't know what I would do if I ever disappointed the one person who needs me in life," I told him. It was nothing but truth, that statement. I could only assume that Kouga would argue with that statement.

"I know you won't. You're the one woman I would trust with him to be honest. You do a better job than some of the women around here," he admitted. My eyes widened, he hadn't argued with me, but instead had encouraged me. Not many had done that in the two years I'd been traveling from home to here. Well that thought sparked a whole new arsenal of emotions. Home. My mother, jii-chan, Souta. I missed them all so much, and I could only hope that Inuyasha's father had gotten the message to them somehow. I needed them to know I was okay. And to not worry about me. Of course, I knew they would worry about me regardless, but I had to hope that they would move on with their lives. Kouga seemed to notice my sudden sorrow and pulled me to look at him. I felt his finger under my chin and then I was looking up at him. "What's wrong Kagome?" he asked me. His voice was gentle and held nothing but concern. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered why I hadn't fallen in love with this demon instead of that Hanyou. I guess it was just fate.

"I just miss my family is all," I told him. He nodded knowingly and then what he did next surprised me. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his strong arms around me. I had to admit then that I liked being around him. He had a way of calming me down when I knew I was going to get upset. And that in itself was more than I could ever ask for with him.

"They'll be alright. The past is the past now, no use getting worked up over those things," he murmured into my hair. I felt his soft lips on my forehead then. "You've got to move forward Kagome. If you don't, you'll spend the rest of your immortal days wondering what if," he told me. I felt his hands applying pressure to my shoulders and then he pulled away from me. I heard my name being called in the distance and, giving Kouga one last look, I turned to find Shippou being tickled to death by the pups. I ran over to them laughing and then found myself swamped by them as well. They licked at my arms and neck and face, anywhere they could reach really. And then Shippou joined the attack and tickled my sides. These, I knew in that moment, would be the moments I lived for as I continued down my new, foreign path.

"Mercy," I cried out, tears forming at the corners of my eyes from the laughter. I couldn't recall a single moment where I had been this happy in all of the time I'd been traveling to this world. And that made me feel even happier. Things were looking up when I was distracted, maybe this wouldn't be so hard. I could only hope. Though, I knew in my heart that the loss of Inuyasha would forever plague and kill me slowly.

Hours later we were all huddled around a fire, the pups cuddling up next to me, their mothers and fathers laying off to the side grateful for the break. Shippou was curled up in my lap, snoring away. Everything looked so beautiful in the fire light. I smiled to myself as the pups chased after different things in their sleep. They were quite possibly the cutest things I'd ever seen, nothing would change that fact. I saw Ginta walk by and smiled, he returned the smile whole heartedly and did his best to sit down next to me.

"How are you sis?" he asked me. I chuckled and shrugged.

"I'm doing okay, trying to make sense of all of this is difficult, but I'm managing. How about you?" I replied. Ginta laughed nervously.

"Well, I was just on my way to tend to Kairi actually," Kairi, the wolf demon female he had been courting since I'd last seen him. It was wonderful that he had found someone. No longer was he running around with Kouga in search of Naraku. He could live now, and that meant more to me than most things. He was happy, so was everyone else now that Naraku was gone. Miroku would live and Sango had her man to spend the rest of her life with. Shippou had me, who he saw as a mother and Sesshomaru could go back to leading his country. Everything was happening for the better now. But was all of this for the better? I didn't know. And what was worse was I didn't think I would ever know.

"Then you should get to her. We can talk tomorrow," I told him. Ginta smiled and stood, thanking me. I watched him jog away and then turned my attention back to the dying flames before me. They licked at the air desperately, much like I had when I was dying. The memories haunted me, almost killed me even. Those were my last moments of life and the only one to be with me then was Shippou. I hated leaving Sango and Miroku with Inuyasha, but they needed time to start their lives together.

"Momma," Shippou grumbled in his sleep. I nearly gasped, but held it back. The surprise that hit me when he said this was something that shouldn't have been. I knew I was like a mother to him, but to have him mumble about me in his sleep? Was it selfish of me to think he was dreaming of me? I didn't like to think so, but the honest truth of it was that it was. It seemed I was being very selfish lately and I hated that fact.

_Sango_

The former demon slayer sat there by the fire, wondering where her friend was. She could only assume she was okay, now that she knew what had happened. Inuyasha had told them everything. Looking up, her eyes immediately went to Hiraikotsu. It seemed that she would no longer need that weapon when she started her knew family. She wouldn't have much time for demon slaying, but she didn't care. As long as she was with Miroku, none of that mattered. Of course, once her children were old enough, she would train them herself. But until then, she would give up her slaying days. Turning her attention to Inuyasha, Sango sighed. The Hanyou hadn't been the same since Kagome had left. Not only that, but he hadn't been the same since she'd come back from the dead. It was as though he didn't care about her at all anymore.

"Why do you hate her so?" she asked him. Inuyasha's ear twitched at the sound and he opened his eyes and looked up at her.

"I don't hate her," he said simply. Sango shook her head.

"Then how come you didn't stop her from leaving?" she argued. The Hanyou took a deep breath through his nose and then exhaled.

"If the wench wanted to leave, that was her choice, not mine," he said bitterly. Sango winced back at his tone and then felt her anger rising. How could he speak about her like that?

"Kagome is not some wench you can talk badly about. She cared about you when no one else did and yet you sit here like she never mattered to you at all. Inuyasha, you're more pathetic than I once thought," Sango told him. She stood in a huff and made to leave.

"Says you, the brave demon slayer who only ever says how much of a pervert Miroku-sama is," Sango stopped dead in her tracks and turned to say something over her shoulder.

"That was because I was hurt by his actions, maybe you should take some time to figure out how you feel about her leaving and then talk to me about hypocrites," and then she stalked away, wanting nothing more than to turn around punch him in the face. Inuyasha was just having a hard time realizing that he missed Kagome that was all. Sango had to believe that. Because if he and Kagome had no future, what hope was there for her and Miroku?

_Kagome_

I took a deep breath and gathered myself. I was being hunted, I knew this. But I had to remain calm or my emotions would get the better of me. This was a crucial moment in my training, and I would not have it ruined by the sheer adrenaline rushing through me. A smirk graced my features when I narrowly escaped Kouga's grasp at the last second. Swinging my leg low, I knocked his legs out from underneath him and he quickly found himself with my claws at his throat. A chuckled erupted from him and then in a split second I was underneath him, his face mere inches from mine.

"You can't be that cocky when you're fighting. Especially someone with more experience than yourself," he told me, his voice low and dangerous. I smirked at him as a challenge, something he wasn't expecting. I think it was safe to say at this point that I was thoroughly enjoying this. Within the next second I had him flying through the air heading straight for a tree. In that last moment before impact, he threw his legs backward and used the tree as a launch pad for himself. My eyes widened and I ducked before he could grab me, sending him flying straight into another tree. This time though, he didn't have the chance to use it as a spring board. Turning around to look at the damage I'd caused, I nearly died laughing. There was almost a clear imprint from where Kouga hit the tree.

"And you should take your own advice Kouga," I chuckled. Said wolf demon groaned as he stood up, mocking my laughter in a girly tone and I couldn't help but laugh out right. He managed a smile and then, while I wasn't paying attention jumped me, pinning my arms above my head with one of his hands. He then proceeded to tickle me. It was moments like these that made me know I had made the right choice in leaving. I never would have known how wonderful of a friend Kouga was if I hadn't. And Shippou wouldn't have made so many new friends either. It was a win-win situation, of this I was certain. However, I was also certain that I might just pee my pants if he didn't stop.

"You give?" he asked in a mock menacing tone. I laughed some more and then tried to calm my breathing as he paused in his assault.

"Mercy, mercy," I told him. He seemed satisfied by this and the let me go. He dropped to the ground next to me and laughed with me at our predicament. It was safe to say that I'd found a best friend in Kouga. He was fun to be around to say the least. I took a deep breath and then turned my head to look at my new confidant. "Kouga," I started. He looked to me, apparently interested in what I had to say. "Thank you," I gave him a smile and he laughed.

"There's no need to thank me," he said. I shook my head and sat up, looking down at the ground.

"There is actually. You let me stay here when I had nowhere else to go. You're training me; you're allowing Shippou to play with the pups. You've done a lot for me the past few days and I've done nothing in return," I explained. Kouga sighed and I heard him shift, when I turned my head, he was sitting up with me. His eyes held sincerity.

"I'm doing this because I care about you, not because I want something in return Kagome. I love you and I have loved you since the day you saved my pack. You don't have to return anything to me," he told me. My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat. My mind was reeling by his response. Anyone else I was sure they would have wanted something in return for everything Kouga had done for me, but he didn't want anything. He was doing all of this for simply because he cared for me. Kouga was turning out like the big brother I had never had. And I knew in my heart that if I hadn't met Inuyasha first, I might very well have fallen in love with this wolf demon. Sadly, that wasn't how everything happened. He stood then, and held his hand out to me. "It's time for dinner, the hunting party will be back soon with the meat and then we can feast. It is after all coming close to your last night here," I nodded and took his hand. Somehow I could feel that he didn't want me to leave. But I simply couldn't stay forever. I was not a wolf demon. And I felt I never would be. I had to find people like me, or I knew I would never be whole again.

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><p><strong><em>And that was chapter three! I hope you guys loved it as much as I loved writing it! Remember to review, until next time.<em>**

******_XOXO, Alaska_**


	4. Disclosed Destination

_**And here it is! Kagome sets off on her own in this chapter. It's just her, Shippou and some armor. Yea, good times. Let's see how she fairs trying to catch a fish in the river, shall we?**_

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><p><em>I remember that last night with Kouga like it was yesterday. He was so kind to me, caring for me despite everything that we'd both been through. He knew I would never love him, just as I knew that Inuyasha would never love me. And somehow, that brought us closer together. And that I was deeply grateful for.<em>

I sat and watched the merriment around me. Everyone was happy to be here together. Everyone but myself; I wanted to leave, but I wanted to stay so badly. I was so comfortable here, nothing would ever change that. I was around people that loved me regardless of everything and that meant so much to me right now. Inuyasha didn't care and he never would again. But I couldn't stop myself from wishing he would. Oh why had I made this pact? I could have easily chosen one of the other options. But alas my heart had yet again one out over my mind. How I hated it when that happened. I couldn't complain however, the damage was done.

"Kagome! Smile, we're celebrating you after all," Ginta exclaimed grabbing my hands and yanking me to stand up. The music being played was pleasant and able to be danced to, so I decided to throw my worries to the wind for now. Right now I would have fun with the people that had grown so close to my heart the past few days. Ginta passed me off to Shippou who danced with me in midair thanks to his height. From Shippou I was transferred to Kouga, glad to see him I smiled.

"How are you enjoying your night so far?" he wondered.

"It's wonderful," I told him truthfully. It was fun, despite my thoughts, but I couldn't help but wish I had something more right now. He seemed to notice this about me and soon enough I was being led away from the merriment and toward his chambers. A nervous feeling rose in my gut and it only grew as we entered his room. I watched him as he dropped my hand and went over to the side of his makeshift bed. He picked up a package and then held it out for me to take.

"Here, I thought you might want something you could more readily fight in, but that was still feminine," he explained. I took the package from him and unwrapped it. What I saw made my mouth drop open in its beauty. What I was holding was a mid-thigh length yukata. It was black, the stitching a deep blue. The pattern though, was what caught my attention. An indigo phoenix wrapped its way from my left hip all the around, up my back and to my right shoulder. The obi was the same deep blue stitching as on the yukata.

"It's beautiful Kouga," I said quietly. His cheeks flushed a bright red and then I heard rustling and clanking. When I looked up, he was handing me armor to wear over my yukata, so to have better protection.

"I had that made special for you. It's made from the bones of our fallen brethren. Their spirits will protect you from here on out," he told me. I gave Kouga a smile and, setting my new attire down, moved in to give him a hug. He hesitated for a moment and then returned my hug. It seemed he was having a hard time letting me leave the safety of his den. But it meant the world to me that he was. "Why do you have to leave?" he finally asked me. I chuckled and pulled out our hug to look him in the eye.

"I need to figure out what this new life means for me. And if that means searching the ends of the earth I will. Inuyasha is out of the question for me, and so is every other man until I find myself again," I explained. Kouga seemed to understand where I was coming and thus dropped the subject. This I was grateful for. "But hey," I told him, punching his shoulder playfully. "That doesn't mean I'll never come back to visit the pack," he smiled at this statement.

"Good, 'cause those pups are really going to miss you. Not that they'll still be pups when you get back, but you know what I mean," I laughed and then nodded.

"Of course, I'll visit as often as I can," and then we walked back out to the celebration together, both of us content now with the idea of my leaving.

I cracked my eyes open the next morning, smiling at the clothes that had been placed next to me. Standing, I decided to bathe before leaving. It would probably be a while before I could wash myself again, as I didn't know how to begin finding a hot spring. Then again, with my new sense of smell, that shouldn't be much of a problem should it? I supposed not. In any case, I was starting to smell and I didn't like it. So I picked up my new clothes and made my way to the natural hot spring in the den. It was refreshing to smell the volcanic waters and it was nice to know that I would soon be surrounded by the hottest of waters. That feeling remained when my toes hit the heat. The steam that arose naturally helped to calm my nerves. I was anxious, that much would've been obvious to anyone. Once I felt adjusted, I simply sat there in the heated water. It was nice and relaxing. Something I hadn't had in quite some time. After a few moments I decided to submerge myself so that my hair could get a good cleansing. Without my shampoo it would be difficult to keep my hair in decent condition, but I would have to manage. I would not go back and get the things I'd left behind. I couldn't see him before I was ready to accept my fate. Being under the water brought back all new memories that I hadn't thought of in a very long time. Like that first time Inuyasha had ever seen me naked. There had been more than one occasion, but this one was before we cared about each other. I remember thinking about him then and here I was now, thinking of him again. I would have to stop doing that. I needed to accept that he would never love me again. How it all worked exactly, was my problem. How could I come back and him just not love me like that anymore? I had only been gone for a few moments. And when I came back everything was different. He hated me now, and I hated that he hated me.

It was moments like this that convinced me I was doing the right thing. I very well could have stayed with him, stood by his side even knowing he would never care. But what good would that have done? It kills me even now to be away from him, but I just can't see any reason to stay with him right now. Rising to the surface of the water, I stood and pushed my hair down flat, releasing the water held within; it all flowed down my back like a steaming waterfall. It felt wonderful. I would be leaving today in search of my kind. That thought scared me. I wouldn't be looking for humans, no, but demons. It was strange, these new changes within me. The oddity of it all would dull, of that I was sure.

_Sesshomaru_

"Mi'Lord," Sesshomaru made no move to acknowledge the voice that called to him. "Your father's scent has resurfaced," Jaken told his master. Sesshomaru turned to face Jaken. The toad demon shrank back in fear from the look he was receiving.

"What do you mean my father's scent?" he asked. Jaken trembled.

"One of your scouts has discovered your father's scent in the northern region of your lands," Jaken explained. Sesshomaru stalked over to his servant and brushed passed him. He would have to discover the meaning of this and fast. If what Jaken said was true, there could only be calamity in its wake.

_Kagome_

With my new clothes and armor on, Shippou and I made our way to… well, we didn't really have any place in mind. I didn't even know where to begin looking. The main reason though, was because I didn't know what I was. And I didn't know if that was a good thing or not. What if there weren't others like me? What if I was the one and only of my kind? I had a hard time believing so, but the fear was there all the same.

"Kagome," Shippou began as he walked next to me. "Where are we going?" he asked me. I sighed and then looked down to him.

"I have no idea, but we'll figure it out along the way. I promise," I told him gently. He nodded, though I could practically smell his apprehension. He was nervous. So was I. It wasn't like I was going for a stroll in the park. The rest of our walk was silent, both of us left to our thoughts. It was strange; usually Shippou was the talkative one. I guess he was more nervous than I had originally thought. Maybe he was just worried that I wouldn't be able to protect him. I had to admit, even I had that worry. Shippou was my number priority now that it was just the two of us, I had to think of myself second and of him first.

We reached a village quicker than I had thought we would, but the change was welcomed. They however, did not seem to like the idea of two youkai entering their village. No one said anything though; they just gave us dirty looks and continued on with their business. It was irritating really, to be looked at in such a manner. Never in my life had someone looked at me with such ill content. Just another thing I would have to get used to I assumed. Every inn we went to however, denied us service. Something that pissed me off and appalled me at the same time. What were we? Vermin? I could only assume that's what these people thought of us, and so Shippou and I made our way out of the village and to a clearing nearby. It was getting dark and it would do us no good to travel at that time of day. So far leaving Kouga wasn't turning out so great.

"Kagome, when are we going to get some food?" Shippou asked me. I heard his stomach rumble and immediately felt horrible. He was hungry and so was I. I would just have to find u some food. But what good would I be at that? Sighing, I looked around and tried to sniff at the air for a nearby water source. Good thing there was a river not too far off.

"Come on, I'll get some fish and on the way you can collect fire wood. Sound good?" Shippou nodded enthusiastically and we made our way to the river. The roar of the water was welcomed as I had grown accustomed to the sound. I will say this however; catching fish was more difficult than I had originally thought. I heard Shippou's laughter from behind me and found myself getting very frustrated. This was something I hadn't thought to ask Kouga to teach me. And now I was regretting that lapse in judgment. I decided that it would be good to calm down and focus, or we wouldn't be eating that night. Stopping my erratic movements, I stared into the water and instead watched the movements of the fish I so desperately wanted to catch. One came closer to my leg than it should've have and so I threw my arm down to grab it. I felt it in my hand but when I pulled up, the fish flopped from my grasp. I yelled out my frustrations and then stomped out of the shallow water.

"You'll never catch a fish that way Kagome," Shippou told me. I sighed and looked to him as I sat, near soaking wet.

"And how will I oh wise one?" this gained me a laugh from my kit.

"If you get frustrated like that, they will never come to you. You've got to remain calm. Here, I'll get the fish, you get the firewood," he handed me the wood he had gathered and I sighed. It was a sad day when your caretaker couldn't even catch dinner. But I would just have to deal with that for now.

It didn't take long to catch fish once Shippou got started, something that I must admit I was jealous about. I wanted to be the one to take care of him, not the other way around. However, there were certain things he'd learned on his own that I had never attempted before today. I would just have to learn.

"This fish is really good," Shippou said between bites. I nodded my agreement with him and we continued to eat. It was a comfortable silence we fell into next, both happy to be with the other. I had to admit, it was nice being with just Shippou for once. Sure I missed Sango and Miroku, and I really missed Inuyasha, but being with just Shippou was a pleasant change to the way I used to live.

_Sesshomaru_

The demon lord of the west ran swiftly. The source of his father's scent was nearby. Closer than Jaken had first stated. That he was glad for. The more pressing question was how had his father's scent resurfaced? He was dead, gone. Sure Inuyasha smelled faintly of their father, but he was a mutt, and nothing this pure could ever come from that halfbreed. The closer he came to the source, the more shocked he became. Underneath that of his father, was the scent of Inuyasha's human wench. The miko. Her previous spiritual stature was gone however, and replaced by the aura of a demon. What on earth was going on? _Has this girl made a demonic pact?_ Sesshomaru wondered to himself. The only way to do so was in the afterlife. Thus meaning, the girl must have died. But how had this happened? Had Naraku killed her? Sesshomaru could only wonder.

Upon reaching her makeshift camp, Sesshomaru quickly came to realize that she was not with his Hanyou brother, but instead with only the kit. What was she doing out here on her own? Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and the third scent he caught. Kouga's wolves. She had stayed with him for some time as that was a more dominant scent she possessed.

"Hn," Sesshomaru murmured to himself. This girl was proving to be more trouble than she was worth. A lot more trouble. Moving ever so slowly, Sesshomaru reached for Bakusaiga. His other sword, however, pulsed upon contact; halting Sesshomaru's movements. Tensaiga didn't want him to harm the girl. Surely it was only because of the connection she now held to his father. That would be the only plausible reason. The sword at his hip pulsed once more and Sesshomaru withdrew his hand from Bakusaiga. He would leave her in peace for now, but watch her from afar. She no longer human, of that he knew. Though, the demon she had become was far and few around the world. She was one of the only ones. Sesshomaru could sense her anxiety, even while she slept. Something was bothering her. Shaking his head slowly, Sesshomaru jumped into the air and summoned his cloud. He would let her be for now. If only to return to her when she needed him.

His desire to help her was far beyond him, but he would do what he could for her. She was smart and had left his brother. So she must've been deserving of his help, correct? That was how Sesshomaru justified watching over her. He doubted, however, that she would need his help. What with the power that was now harbored inside her.

_Kagome_

_I ran. And I ran. I couldn't get away and that terrified me more than the idea of him never loving me again. I saw him, with other women and that killed me. I saw him smile at those women and that killed me even more. He was happy with everyone but me. And that, in itself would be my demise. I needed him, I wanted him. My desire to be with him had only grown stronger since I had left, since I had died. Everyone else was better off without me, I kept telling myself. And so I ran. Shippou trailed behind me, screaming my name. I left them all, abandoned them and then came back expecting it all to be the same as it once was._

And then I woke up, tears streaming down my face. Shippou was by my side, holding onto my index finger for dear life. He was worried about me. Hell, I was worried about me too.

"Are you alright Kagome?" he asked me. Through my tears I managed a small smile and then picked up my kit.

"Just a bad dream is all," I murmured. Shippou wedged himself into my chest, his forehead resting on my collar bone. This little demon would be the only thing to keep me sane as we traveled. And it was then, through the faint scent of tears and fear, I noticed another scent. Someone who I knew rather well and who had always hated his half-brother. "Sesshomaru was here," I mumbled. Shippou looked up at me, confusion written all over his face. He sniffed the air then and nodded.

"Why was he here do you think?" the young kit asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know, but he was here while we slept," Shippou nodded and then replaced his forehead. I smiled through my fears and hugged him to me. I loved this kit, hopefully that would be enough to rid myself of my feelings for Inuyasha.

"Hey," Shippou said suddenly. He looked up at me, a grin on his face. "Why don't you get a sword made from Totosai?" he asked me. I took a moment to think about it. It seemed like a good enough idea. I would have something to defend myself and Shippou with. And that was probably the one thing I lacked at the moment.

"Good idea Shippou," I agreed. He flushed at the compliment and then we set off. I needed a weapon to fight with. If i didn't have one, then what good would I be to the one person who needed me the most right now?

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><p><em><strong>And here we are, a new destination in mind for the pair of demons. However, Kagome doesn't even know where to begin looking for the Sword master Toutousai. So how will she ever find him? Stay tuned to find out.<strong>_

___**XOXO, Alaska**_


	5. Confusing Conquests

_**Okay so, for those of you who didn't see the previous content of chapter five, I wasn't going to post this because no one was reviewing. But, a few readers have taken my whiny complaints to heart and now here is chapter five for you all! So sorry if it's a tad bit short, hopefully I can remedy that for you in chapter six or seven. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading it! And I look forward to your thoughts on the happenings of this chapter!  
><strong>_

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><p><em>Looking back on it, I had no idea where to find the sword master. All I knew was that he traveled on a flying cow demon. And that in itself was not a lot to go on. And yet somehow, we pushed on. Shippou and I made record time finding him those couple days. Well, he found us, but that my friend is beside the point.<em>

My irritation grew within the next couple hours. I had no idea where to start looking for the old youkai and neither did Shippou. We didn't have much to go on if we were going to be honest with ourselves. And trust you me, we did not want to be honest with ourselves. There was no admitting that we had no idea where to go. And there was no admitting that we were regrettably lost in the woods after having left a rather rude village, the second one to be exact.

"Those people were such jerks," Shippou muttered. I sighed in response and shrugged. What were we going to do? Change into humans at the snap of a finger? No, that was not in the playbook. So for now, we would just have to deal with the rude people of the world.

"Yea, but what can we do?" I asked him. Shippou sighed and I sighed with him. We were an odd pair traveling together. A kitsune and a demon who didn't know what kind of demon she was. I felt stupid, half the people in the village probably knew what I was, and yet I myself had yet to figure it out. A rustle in the bushes shocked me from my thoughts and Shippou jumped behind my legs to protect himself. What came at us next had me laughing hysterically. It was a simple toad, probably got himself lost seeing as the nearest source of water was a ways away. "It's alright Shippou, just a toad." The younger boy grumbled and moved away from my legs. I couldn't help but chuckle as he glared at the toad in question. And when he jumped and screamed because it moved was just priceless. The kitsune leapt into my arms and we continued on our way. I was honestly surprised by how little we were threatened as we traveled. That is, until we reached the next village. It appeared to be a human village on the outside, but when we walked through, it was made up of entirely demons. The immense power held within this village was almost terrifying. Actually, it was terrifying.

"Kagome," I heard Shippou's quiet plea to leave as three male youkai approached us. All with near identical smirks on their faces. I scowled at them and made to continue on my way, Shippou on my shoulder.

"Now, now," one of them stopped me by grabbing my other shoulder. "Why leave so soon? Come on Hana, spend some time with us," I was disgusted by his flattery and removed his hand from my shoulder. He glared at me, but I only stared him down.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I've got somewhere to be," I tried to walk away again, but another of them grabbed my arms and held me in front of him. It all happened so fast I didn't know what was going to happen. "Let go of me," I all but growled. The seeming leader of the three chuckled and moved closer to me, his finger sliding under my chin and pulling my head up to meet his gaze. I wanted to spit at him. So I did. He flinched back at the action, but this only seemed to anger him further.

"No one insults me and gets," he stopped mid-sentence. I looked behind him as he fell and saw a woman standing there. She had on an outfit similar to Sango's, but slightly different to accommodate her demonic features. A smirk held her expression as she watched the faces of the other men. The one that wasn't holding me glared at her and then charged. She only stood there as he tripped over his own foot and landed face first on the ground. The third, my captor, cried out in fear like a little girl and then ran away, leaving his friends with me and the other woman. I stared at her, my eyes wide. She wasn't a full demon, of this I was sure, but she was beautiful. And strong. She had jet black wings jutting out from her back, her hair the same color. But her eyes were a piercing purple color.

"Sorry about them, they think they're entitled to anything because they're the sons of the Lord of this town," she explained. Shippou, who had somehow gotten tossed to the side in all of that, jumped back up onto my shoulder. "I'm Yamato Akemi," she bowed to me, a sign of respect and I bowed in return. She was probably the nicest demon or person I'd met while traveling so far. And I was thankful for her to be here.

"I'm Higurashi Kagome, this is Shippou," I told her. She gave Shippou a smile to which he blushed and shrank back into my hair. Akemi and I laughed at his actions.

"So what brings you around here? I've never seen you around before," she asked me. I sighed and then figured I might as well tell her. She did just save me from… well, from something. I wasn't quite sure what though.

"I'm looking for Toutousai, I need a sword to be forged," I explained. She nodded her head in understanding and then scratched the back of her head, causing her wings to move with the muscle in her back. I couldn't help but watch them as she did this, and failed to notice her smirk.

"Pretty sweet aren't they?" I snapped out of my thoughts enough to hear her ask that and then nodded.

"Of course, what kind of demon are you?" I asked her. To that she shifted her stare to the ground, a cross look entering her features.

"Well, my father is a human. But my mother, bless her soul, was a phoenix demon. These wings are all I have left of her," she said gesturing to her wings. I nodded my understanding. She must've had a similar life to Inuyasha. That thought made me sick. All these years Inuyasha had lived thinking no one else knew how he felt.

"So your father is still around?" I asked her. Akemi nodded her features once again bright and blissful.

"He sure is old, but he's still around." I smiled at this news. At least she had one parent left. "He lives in the neighboring village, humans are not allowed here," she explained.

_Inuyasha_

He couldn't believe that she left. After all these years, after everything he'd done for her, she just left him. She just up and left like that. She should've had the decency to keep her word. Kagome had promised two years ago that she would stay by his side. But even that pact had been until the jewel was complete and it was. So what did she have to stay around for? Why was she even still here? She could've very well gone home to her human family. The people she was always complaining about missing. In his anger, Inuyasha managed to knock down multiple trees, punching holes straight through the center. She had no right to leave him, no matter if her promise was over.

"I," he wouldn't say it. He wouldn't admit it. Not now, not ever. Though he didn't feel the same way about her as before, he needed her. She was the one thing kept him sane on the days when he felt at his worst.

"You're pathetic halfbreed," the Hanyou turned to see the sick face of his brother. Glaring at the Inu youkai, Inuyasha straightened his back. "She doesn't need you and that kills you, doesn't it," Sesshomaru asked. The only response he got was a deep, guttural growl from his lesser half-brother.

"Keh," Inuyasha scoffed. "She needs me, she knows she does. And she'll come crawling back to me sooner or later," he replied. Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes and rushed his brother, grabbing him by the throat. Squeezing, Sesshomaru took satisfaction in knowing he was causing Inuyasha pain.

"You dare speak that way about a woman? She is better than you, filthy mutt. She's pure, a phoenix demon. And you, Inuyasha, would not be smart to speak ill of her," it was out of character for Sesshomaru to be so talkative, but when a man of lower stature spoke ill of a woman of higher stature, something needed to be said. And in Sesshomaru's mind, Kagome was much higher than Inuyasha in the pyramid of power.

"Looks like Sesshomaru has a crush," for that, Sesshomaru activated his poison claws and drove them deeper into his brother's neck. Inuyasha cried out in pain and then felt himself fall to the ground. Sesshomaru wanted to do so much more to the scum before him, but he would refrain for now.

"I am simply defending the honor of a woman who now holds a higher position than you in life. Remember what I have told you," and then he was gone. Inuyasha coughed, trying to rid himself of the pain in his neck. He knew that would take days, if that. It was then that what his brother said hit him. Kagome was a phoenix demon? But that was impossible, if anything she should've been a dog demon, like them. Confusion replaced anger as Inuyasha sat by the tree he'd previously been held against. Did Kagome really not need him anymore? He could hardly recall a time when she didn't. Even that first night, so long ago, she had needed him. That demon would have killed her if not for him. And now, he meant nothing to anyone.

_Kagome_

And so I traveled with Akemi the next day or so. She knew where Toutousai lived and also knew what kind of demon I was. Though, she wouldn't tell me unless I figured it out for myself. At that I rolled my eyes. Shippou was rather enjoying Akemi's company however, which was good. He needed to be close to more than just me after all. It was only healthy.

"We're not far now, another hour or two of walking," Akemi explained. I smiled and nodded.

"So, why did you choose to come with me anyway?" I asked her. Akemi glanced at me out of the corner of her eye and then turned her gaze forward.

"You remind me of my mother," she replied. My mouth dropped open lightly, as did Shippou's. "She looked a lot like you and you have a lot of the same characteristics," I closed my mouth and nodded, watching the ground as we walked. "I'm sorry to dump that on you, I just miss her is all," she murmured. I stopped walking then. Thinking of my own mother, who I would never see again. I missed her too.

"I know the feeling Akemi, trust me," I said quietly. She seemed to notice that I stopped walking because the sound of her feet hitting the ground stopped as well.

"Your mother died too?" she questioned.

"In a way. I made a pact and now I can never see her again," I explained. Akemi took that answer for what it was and sighed.

"One of these days I'm going to get you to tell me everything," I felt her arm around my shoulder then. Looking up, I saw the smile she was giving me. "Buck up, soon you'll have your sword and then you'll be able to kick ass," I laughed with her, Shippou smiling on my shoulder the whole rest of the way.

Truth be told it really hadn't taken too long to get to Toutousai's hut in the mountains. And when we did, well, let's just say he was happy to see me.

"Ah Kagome, I was wondering when you would arrive," the old man knew everything I swear. I smiled and embraced the man in a hug. He laughed somewhat nervously and then asked me to do something I never thought anyone would ever ask me. "Now if you would just transform into your demon form we can begin," I gave the old youkai a blank stare and then looked to Akemi and Shippou. The two looked like they were going to burst into laughter. When I looked back to Toutousai, he was giving me quite the expectant stare.

"Umm," I replied. The youkai sighed and stood shakily on his cane.

"I need you, Miss Kagome, to transform into your demonic form so I can forge your sword properly," the blank stare I had previously remained present on my face as he explained. It was safe to say I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

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><p><em><strong>I hope you guys enjoyed chapter five! I worked very hard on it! Also, sorry if Sesshomaru seemed a little out of character, I just felt I needed to include him more than I already had. Also, I hope you guys learn to love Akemi as much as I do! Until next time!<strong>_

_**XOXO, Alaska**_


	6. Owning Opportunities

_**Well here is chapter six, and thank you so much to those of you who reviewed, even the short ones made me smile! (: I love you all so much, so here's chapter six early. I wasn't going to post it until tomorrow, but I decided to post it now. So remember to review! And I hope you enjoy the chapter!**_

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><p><em>I didn't realize it then, but my visit to Toutousai and my new weapon were two of the best things to ever happen to me. Why, without those two things, I wouldn't be anywhere near who I am today. Honestly, I would never have made it this far. And for that I am grateful.<em>

It took a while, but eventually I understood what I had to do. Though, Toutousai refused to tell me what kind of a demon I was until I transformed. He said it would come to me when that happened. That my demon would speak to me and help me to figure out who I was. _Just give in dear Kagome_; I heard a voice in my head repeat over and over. It obviously wanted out, but could I give it to her? Strange I had never noticed it before. So I took a deep breath and released all locks on my psyche. The next few moments were life altering for me. I had never been this before, never been anything but human. And at first, that had terrified me to the core. But now, in this very moment, I loved it.

Fire burned all that was around me, I felt free for the first time. I spread my wings, wait, wings? Slamming them down, I felt myself shoot upward into the air. I was a phoenix demon. _Freedom_; that word rang through my mind. It was as though I was finally released from a prison cell.

"And so the caged bird sings," I heard Akemi say from below. I would have smiled if birds could smile; instead I let out a magnificent sound and flew back down to the ground, landing gently in front of Toutousai.

"It's been so long since I've seen you," he stroked one of my now folded wings and chuckled at the feeling. He was used to the flames, that much was obvious. "Now, to make your sword I will need one of your feathers," I nodded solemnly at his request and held back a cry as he did so. "You may revert back if it pleases you," I sighed in my mind and then locked my demon away within my mind. When I looked around next, I was back as a human girl.

"So, how was it?" Akemi asked me. I grinned ear to ear and hugged her.

"It was amazing!" I exclaimed. The two of us laughed and then Shippou joined us.

"You were amazing Kagome," he told me. I gave him a smile and then picked him up and hugged him.

"Thank you Shippou," that was the best I'd felt in years. Oh to be free! I wanted to have that feeling over and over again. If only for a moment. But right now I needed to focus. Turning my attention to the sword master, I walked over to him. "So how long will it take to make my sword?" he was already working, that man was something else.

"Come back in three days' time and I will have a sword for you," he told me. I smiled and nodded. Everything was coming into place. So much so that I couldn't help but wish Inuyasha was here to share it with me. It was sad to think that he would never be proud of me. The light with which he once saw me was forever exiled into obscurity. And even in all my happiness, this one simple fact had me coming back to reality. I couldn't help but think that if I continued this way, I would only become hardened. And sadly, I didn't so much mind the idea. Because even with the sacrifices I made to be here, I didn't want to be here. The choice had been both the most selfless and the most selfish thing I'd ever done. It felt as though I was flip-flopping back and forth between happy and sad, because in truth, I was. I was nothing more than a fish out of water.

"Kagome," Akemi's voice faded into nothing as I stood there. I simply needed time to think, to grow up, to move past my Hanyou. I shook my head and, ignoring those I cared for, walked out of the cave. Vaguely I heard their footsteps following me, but my thoughts consumed me. It was only then beginning to hit me that he wasn't here. It was true enough that this was for the best, but it still hurt. I had been gone just under one week and already the days were beginning to blur together and I now found myself in a place I did not want to until I figured out my life. And that, I knew, was a long ways away.

"Kagome!" I heard Akemi yell my name and I stopped walking. I didn't know why all of this was just now hitting me, but I did not like it. I had left to escape him, not to think of him for the rest of my days. But maybe that was what I had to do. In order to move on, maybe I had to think of him. To remember the days when he did love me and know that it was better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I would love again, the only question was when? I supposed I just didn't want to deal with my new reality. The idea of it all happening this quickly was what lead me to this decision. "What's wrong?" she trailed off. Looking at my new friend, I sighed. Could I let her in? I didn't know.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I decided against trusting her with that information. Shippou's look of concern did not go unnoticed and I found myself sighing again. I felt bad, but surely Shippou would know what was wrong. I couldn't ruin our previous fun though, so I gave them both a smile.

"One of these days Kagome," I laughed with my friend and chose not to respond. For now I wouldn't think of him. For now I would live. For now, I would pretend to be happy until I truly was. That was all I could do without him standing here next to me.

_Sesshomaru_

The Great Dog Demon of the West entered the cave of his father's old friend. Kagome had been here recently, of that he was sure. And to get herself a weapon none the less. He couldn't fathom why she would want one; it didn't seem within her nature to kill. Though, it was more than within _his_ nature to do so.

"Ah Sesshomaru," an old voice said from the far reaches of his home. "What brings you here this fine day?" The demon Lord stared at the older youkai blankly, not responding. "Always a talker," Toutousai set the blade he was working on in the forge and stood, turning his attention to the taiyoukai. "Tell me, why you take such interest in her?" he questioned.

"I do not know what you speak of old man," Sesshomaru said. The older man laughed and then quickly grew serious.

"So then you're here for another reason besides to follow Kagome who now holds the scent of your father?" he asked. Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed his anger and irritation becoming quite evident. Toutousai sighed and rubbed his forehead. "She was here, and she is very powerful, of this I can feel," Sesshomaru only stared at the man. It was obvious that she was powerful. She held the power of his father, anyone with that was sure to be stronger than life itself; of this Sesshomaru was sure. But why give her the power was what Sesshomaru wanted to know. Before her death, the woman had been just that. A woman; one with no strength of her own and no means to protect herself other than a bow. And even with that she could hardly protect herself. Sesshomaru just chalked it up to his father's soft spot for human women.

"Her sword, when will it be finished?" was all Sesshomaru asked.

"In three days, she will return for it then. But I warn you Sesshomaru," the taiyoukai turned on his heels and left the cave. "Do not test her Sesshomaru! You will only regret it!" Toutousai shouted after him. A dark feeling loomed in the demon's gut. His father had only ever forsaken him. And the one time a woman cries and then dies; he's there for her rescue. He gave her the option to live again with his power. Why not Sesshomaru? That was what he wanted to know. The white haired, golden eyed demon seethed anger as he walked. He summoned his cloud and decided to go back to his castle. He would return when Kagome showed weakness and that would be when he would strike.

_Kagome_

The three of us decided to take a break on our adventure for a day or two. There was no use traveling too far from Toutousai, so we made camp in the nearest field we could find. Of course, that was a day's walk in itself, so tomorrow we would have to head back. It was nice for the time being though, flowers layered the grasses, giving Shippou ample space to play in. The kit did love to play, his younger nature kicking in the second he spotted the field. It was quite peaceful I have to say.

"One of these days Kagome," I snapped out of my thoughts when Akemi said that. Turning to her, I furrowed my eyebrows.

"That's the second time you've said that, what do you mean?" I asked her. She glanced over at me and gave me a look that said like-you-don't-know-what-I-mean. "Oh come on, you have to admit that is a vague statement," I told her. Akemi laughed and then sighed.

"I just, you seem down about something. And I want to know, but I'm not going to push you. So one of these days, I will find out," with that she stuck her tongue out at me and then we both laughed. It was quite clear to me that Akemi was quickly becoming someone I could trust. But until that time, I would keep my problems to myself. I didn't need someone I didn't know betraying me or laughing at me or calling me stupid for what I did.

"Well, I promise, one day, you'll know. But until then, please don't pester me about it," I poked her in the shoulder and thus earned a laugh from the younger girl. She couldn't have been more than fifteen or sixteen. And I had to admit, it was refreshing being the oldest one around. Well, aside from Shippou. But he'd been a demon all his life, and a kitsune at that. He didn't grow as fast as us and for that I envied him. To stay young forever, that would be nice. Of course, the perks of such a situation would never last forever. But to live in the moment for that time span, was something most people would kill for.

"The sun will be setting soon," Akemi murmured. I nodded in agreement.

"We should get camp set up. Be prepared to leave early morning," I told her. Standing up I made my way to my kit and picked him up, spinning him around in the air. He laughed and smiled and for that brief moment, everything was okay. Nothing seemed to be doomed, everything was perfect. Akemi was watching us, this I knew, but in that one moment, nothing could have torn me down.

Within the next few hours, we set up camp, had a fire going and Akemi had managed to find a stream and catch a few smaller fish. They were good enough, but I couldn't stop the desire to eat more. It was like I hadn't eaten in days, which was almost a reality for me. The last time I ate a decent meal was back with Kouga, but I couldn't return to him. I had to grow up and learn to defend myself. I had to train and get stronger. I had to show Inuyasha that, even though I would always and forever love him, I didn't need him.

"Kagome, tell me a bed time story?" Shippou asked me. I smiled to him and then looked to Akemi; she was awake, staring at something in the sky or even the sky itself. So I figured why not? He was _my_ kit after all.

"Once upon a time, in a land far, far away," I began. Shippou pursed his lips.

"Does it have to start that way?" he questioned.

"What do you mean?" I furrowed my brows.

"All the stories always start out that way, it's boring," the kit whined. I sighed and then tickled his stomach lightly, earning a giggle from the boy.

"Fine," I took a moment to think. "There once was a beautiful princess. She lived in a huge castle," Shippou seemed pleased with that start, so I continued. "In this castle with her were her parents, the King and Queen. The King was very strong, but lacked the compassion his daughter desired. And the Queen was very compassionate, but lacked the firm hand needed to reprimand her daughter," I honestly had no clue where I was going with this story. But hey, some of the stories in history were made up on the spot, right? "The Princess, you see, was growing up day by day. And the closer she came to her twenty-first birthday, the sooner she was to be married. For they couldn't have a Queen without the new King. But alas, the Princess loved no one. For no one was as good as her family. She found it difficult to find anyone as good as her father and as loving as her mother.

"So what were they to do other than arrange a marriage?" Shippou snubbed his nose at that comment and I laughed. He was such a goofball. "One day, the Princess came home to many suitors. They were meeting with her parents to find the man perfect for their precious daughter. Each and every one was a pure bred, something the King and Queen reveled in. All except one, he was brash and arrogant and rude. But the Princess immediately fell for him. She saw him as something unique, a halfbreed and rude, rebellious even. He was a challenge for her. But of course his heart belonged to another long gone," I almost cried talking about it, because somehow, this bedtime story had morphed into the story of my life for the past two years.

"Some time went on and eventually the two were engaged. They loved each other deeply, but then, something dreadful happened. A great evil came and attacked the castle. Everyone except one person survived. And that one person was the Princess. She fell victim to the evil curse that plagued her home. And thus, the new Prince lost his love," I could sense Shippou's emotions as he listened to my story, but he was drifting, his breathing shifting from even to erratic and I knew he was close to sleep. "In the afterlife, the Princess was given a choice. She could continue on being dead. Or she could return to life, but lose the love of the one she held most dear. And so she chose to return, if only to be with him one last time before she died again.

"The Prince and the Princess continued their marriage, but at a price. He no longer loved her, and she avoided him at all costs. She didn't want to admit that he would never love her again. And so the two lived apart yet together, the Princess always wondering what if," I finished. Shippou's breathing had grown shallow and even now and I knew he was asleep. I sat up with a sigh and looked over to Akemi. The Hanyou was out cold, making the only one left awake me. With nothing else to do, I lay down next to Shippou and stared at the sky. There were a few clouds, but millions of stars. They glittered like a diamond in the rain and I couldn't help but smile. The moon was almost full, a time that meant Inuyasha's dreaded day approached. I couldn't help but wonder how he would take it without me there. Not that he would care, but he hardly ever spent those nights without me. At least not for the past two years.

I couldn't help but think back to that first night of the new moon. He had practically refused to show himself to me, but then he wound up having to because of the spider demons that attacked us. That night had been the first night that really changed our relationship. He'd saved my life and almost died in the process. And that had meant more to me than almost anything. Not only that, but he continued to protect me with his life for the next two years. It nearly killed me thinking about it. But I had to, in some ways, continue to think about it. I loved him; I didn't think that would ever change. So why not think about him? About the good times at least. None of the times when he left me for _her_. None of the times when he used me to find shikon jewel shards. None of the times when he upset me so much that I ran away from him… like I was currently doing. I should have expected this, I honestly should have, so why hadn't I? It was like I didn't think his father was telling me the honest truth of it all. Like the pact would be null and void when I returned. Like everything would just be okay.

But in all truth, nothing was okay. But I would make sure it was. I would go to the ends of the world to make sure I was okay, to make sure Shippou was okay and to make sure Akemi was okay. I wouldn't deny that I had a lot to learn, but I would do my best to learn it quickly and efficiently. I wouldn't let them down like I had let everyone else down, I simply couldn't do that to them. Not now, not after everything that's happened. I would never, in a million years think of ever letting them down. I had to grow up. I had to mature. I had to realize that Inuyasha wasn't the only source of happiness I had left. Because in reality, I had so many more things that made me happy. I just had to find them.

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><p><em><strong>Okay, I'll admit the bedtime story was a bit of fluff, but it led to some awesome Kagome to herself time! So anyway, I hope you loved it! And until next time!<strong>_

___**XOXO, Alaska**_


	7. Displaying Disdain

_**Please, please, please remember to review! I haven't seen any problems with it yet, but I do love getting them! Anyway, pardon the sad excuse of a fight scene in this chapter. Kagome is a battle virgin xD Haha, anyway, I hope you guys like the chapter!**_

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><p><em>I will admit I had never thought any of this would ever happen. But now that it has, I'm glad it did. Losing him and then finding another, was the best thing, in short, that ever happened to me. The only weaknesses he had were power and honor. Nothing else would make him falter, not ever.<em>

"Kagome!" I felt a small body pounce on my stomach, on all fours and then jolted upright. We had to leave to get my sword today! I wondered to myself what its name would be, it was such a mystery. And what would it be able to do? I had no idea, but I sure was excited to find out. Today was the start of the rest of my new life, and I was determined not to make a mockery of it.

"I know, I know," I exclaimed. It didn't take long for us to prepare, we didn't have much as it was, so there wasn't much to pack up. Actually, thinking about it, there wasn't anything to pack. Aside from Akemi's weapon, but that was easily tied to her hip. It was quite clear that my new group preferred to travel light.

_Inuyasha_

If he were going to be honest with himself, he would admit that he missed her. He felt guilty even that she left, and even guiltier that she had died. It was his entire fault. If he had just been better at protecting her, she wouldn't have died and then she would be here with Sango and Miroku. But he would never breathe those words aloud, hell; he hardly spoke them in his mind. He was too afraid. Admitting you're wrong is not an easy task, especially not for Inuyasha. The Hanyou might not feel the same way for her anymore, but he sure did miss her. She was his friend, she had always been there and now she just wasn't. And it was weird. It felt weird to not see her run around with Shippou or roll her eyes and laugh at Miroku. He didn't know how much longer he could hold out before he went after her and forced her return.

"Don't do it Inuyasha,"

"What do you know hag?" he returned harshly. Kaede sighed and continued picking her herbs.

"I know that ye miss her, Kagome-sama I mean," Inuyasha gave the older woman an icy glare and crossed his arms, stuffing his hands in his sleeves.

"Keh, as if," he replied.

_Kagome_

We stood there, at a crossroads, paused in our travels because of one simple person. Shippou was hiding in my hair and Akemi was staring, her jaw slack causing her mouth to hang open. The sight before us was utterly despicable and had me seething anger. A man and a woman and the man was hitting the woman.

"You can't leave!" he screamed at her. I glared at him and felt heat begin to gather in my hand. What he was doing was beyond wrong and I would not stand for it. Akemi clearly wasn't going to do anything.

"Shippou," I said calmly. "Stay with Akemi," I heard him gulp and then felt the absence of him on my shoulders and neck. That was when the man seemed to notice us and so did his wife.

"What're you looking at?" he growled at me. I cracked my neck and took enough steps forward so that I could take one more step and plant a punch straight on his face.

"You, betraying and harming that wonderful woman on the ground beneath you,"

"Heh, you wanna replace her? You're beautiful, more so than her anyway," I glared at him and clenched my fist more. He chuckled at my reaction and, ignoring his wife, took a step closer to me. Big mistake. "I definitely won't," I threw my fist back and then thrust it back into his face, earning a sickening crunch from the impact. I heard him cry out in pain and then saw steam coming off his cheek.

"You know, normally I'm not very violent. But I find lately I have no limits on my anger," I told him. Of course, that was partially a lie. I hadn't really thought about the levels of anger I currently held. But if I were to think about it, I would probably realize that I was angry. I missed Inuyasha and I hated that he would never love me and I hated that he thought I was still obligated to stay with him. I hated everything about my situation right now. But I couldn't change it. So I would embrace it to the best of my ability. The man's wife scrambled to her feet and ran to hide behind Akemi. My fist grew consecutively hotter and it was then that I realized his cheek had been burned. I took a moment to glance at my fist and saw steam coming from it. In a sudden moment, I was knocked to the ground by a rather large form and groaned at the impact. I might have been a demon, but pain was still something I felt. And this situation was no different.

"I don't take too well to women hitting me and trying to tell me what to do," he growled in my ear. I clawed at his shoulders and felt the pop as I broke through his skin. He hissed in pain and I took that moment of weakness to kick him up and off of me.

"And I don't take too well to men who beat their wives," I flexed my fingers; my claws made me feel pretty deadly. "You have two choices. One, you can leave in peace and never come back. Or, you can deal with me. And I don't think you want to do that just yet," I said. My tone, I thought, held a rather menacing undertone. I was only judging this by the man's reaction however. He shivered, but said nothing. He then turned his attention to his wife.

"You'll regret leaving me Keiko! I'll make sure of it," and then he wiped off his chin, stood and hobbled off into the distance. I had to admit, I felt pretty good right then. I turned my body to face my companions and the woman I had just saved. No woman should have had to deal with that.

"Are you alright?" I asked her my voice gentle and kind. She gave me a smile and stepped out from behind Akemi. She didn't look to be more than thirteen and she was already married. I swear, some of the things people did in this time were ridiculous.

"I suppose. I'm more worried about my family, I left them not only one month ago," she told me. My eyes widened. She'd been gone a mere month and already he'd been abusing her. I felt for her, I truly did.

"Where does your family live?" I asked her.

"In a small village about two days' time from here," I nodded and looked to Akemi. She nodded in silent agreement with me and then I held my hand out to the girl.

"Keiko, I will see to it that you return to your village safely. We just have to make one stop and then we'll return you to your home," she gave me a rather large smile in reply to that statement and then took my hand. We walked like that for some time before she finally felt comfortable releasing it. I didn't mind though, I was used to that with Shippou.

I had to admit it was nice traveling with Keiko to Toutousai's cave to retrieve my sword. She was very pleasant to be around and Akemi seemed to love her. They were very similar and grew very close over the rest of the day. Shippou was even taking a liking to her. My little rag tag group was coming together, not all we needed was a male fighter to help me when we got into trouble. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was all for girl power, but nothing took the place of a strong man to protect you when things got tough. And besides that, Akemi didn't have much more experience fighting than I had. So it was safe to say that we needed a male figure to help me fight when we got into sticky situations. Strange that I was only thinking of myself as the main protector, but for now, I supposed that to be true.

"Akemi, would you like to train with me when I get my sword?" I asked her. The Hanyou looked at me, a happy expression on her face.

"Of course! More than just you need to be able to protect us!" she said happily. Akemi and Keiko laughed together. I shook my head and laughed lightly along with them. They were two young women enjoying life, despite their situations. And it lightened my heart to see it. Akemi didn't have a man holding her down and now Keiko was free as well, and that was thanks to not only her bravery but my power as well. I felt very proud of the both of us. I saved her from a more severe beating than she had already gotten and she had taken the first step to getting out of a horrible relationship. We had both done well.

"Kagome! I see the forge!" Shippou exclaimed, going down on all fours and running toward the cave. I smiled and watched him, Akemi and Keiko chasing after him. That was when it happened. Everything stopped and I felt a pulse deep down in the pit of my stomach.

_Come to me_.

Then it was gone, the pulsing stopped and I saw Shippou and the others waiting for me. Shaking my head, I played it off as nothing to worry about, but I knew better than that with the experiences I'd had with Inuyasha and his demonic side. As I approached the forge, the feeling grew stronger, it wasn't the same pulsing as before, but something different. Something feral and animalistic. Something entirely instinctive that I had never felt before in my human life. It was something, arousing, a power of sorts that I wanted to hold onto and never let go of.

"Ah Kagome-sama," Toutousai greeted me. "Your sword is just about done, shouldn't be more than another few hours," he told me. I gave him a smile and nodded.

"Of course, we'll just wait here for it if that's alright with you," the old man nodded and gave me a pleasant smile. I would imagine he never really had any guests, so this would be something new for him. But he was hospitable in any case. He spoke with Akemi, was kind to Keiko and let Shippou sit next to him. I honestly think Shippou wanted to sit with him to feel older and wiser. But we both knew that was a long way away. And then it happened again. The pulsing feeling, only I didn't hear anything in my head this time. It was just that same guttural, feral feeling from before. Even more animalistic than before, yet calm at the same time. As though I was standing in the eye of a terrible storm.

"It's ready Kagome," Toutousai told me. I nodded to him, somehow knowing what was going on. It was strange. It was as though my sword and I had already formed a bond, one that could never be severed. A feeling I'd never had with anything or anyone. The youkai stood and retrieved my sword, when I saw it, my whole world changed. The blade was the whitest I'd ever seen. Honestly, I didn't know a metal could be white like the blade of my sword was. What made it even more beautiful was the feathered design on the dull side of the blade. The hilt was black, with a feather shaped guard and red fabric covering the metal to make it easier to handle. All in all, I could hardly believe the sword would be mine in the matter of two seconds. My smile spoke wonders as I put my hand on the hilt for the first time. It was like a breath of fresh air.

"It's wonderful Toutousai, thank you so much," I almost hugged the older man, but couldn't because I was so distracted by the beauty that was _my_ blade.

"Now Kagome, don't underestimate the capabilities of that sword. Phoenix demons are among some of the strongest in the known world. It would be unwise to use this inappropriately before you know what it can do," I nodded my understanding and then we were on our way.

_Sesshomaru_

He saw her exit the cave, a scabbard and sword tied to her hip. She now had her weapon and now he could strike. If she was powerful as Toutousai claimed, she would have no problem standing her ground against the taiyoukai, of this he was certain. All demons had instinct and fighting for their lives was one of them.

Sesshomaru fell gracefully from the air, the wind whipping his hair and biting at the skin of his cheeks. He would test the woman who had his father's scent. And when she fell to his power, he would find out why she even had it to begin with.

_Kagome_

My weapon pulsed as we walked. Danger. That was all I knew. It was strange, the mere idea that my sword, this little blade, could do this much.

"Akemi, take Keiko and Shippou and get Toutousai," I told them. I wasn't sure what was coming, but I knew it was strong. The second they turned to leave, Sesshomaru landed gently and gracefully in front of me. His stare was cold and blank, but his posture spoke volumes. "Sesshomaru, how good to see you," I said. Sarcasm lace my voice as I stood before him.

"Do not address me so informally onna," he replied. To this I nodded and bowed my head to him.

"Of course, Sesshomaru-_sama_," I held back my smirk as the taiyoukai narrowed his eyes. I couldn't begin to work out why I was being so annoying, but it was fun, I had to admit. My eyes widened when the only response I received was Sesshomaru charging at me. It all happened so fast that I barely had any time to draw my sword before his Bakusaiga nearly sliced me in half. The force of the impact sent my body flying backward. The ground soon became a close friend as I bounced, rolled, and tumbled over the volcanic soil.

"It would not do well for you to mock me, onna," he ran at me then. His sword in his right hand, gliding behind him. I didn't know what I could've possibly said for him to attack me, and I didn't think I would find out any time soon. I stood shakily, using my word as support. That blow left my body trembling at the sheer force. And if it continued that way, I didn't know how long I would last. My sword pulsed then, but I couldn't tell what it was trying to assay. It seemed as though it was screaming at me, trying to tell me something. I just couldn't decode the message. I felt so helpless, all I could do was poorly block and dodge his attacks. And he was relentless. My arms and legs were bleeding; my yukata was torn and cut up.

I couldn't help but wonder if he would kill me just then. And I quickly found myself flat on my back, my sword just a few inches out of reach. I was young. I was inexperienced. But in those few seconds of life or death, I heard what my weapon had constantly been screaming at me. It was primal, it nothing else.

_"Kaminoshi,"_ I heard myself murmur its name. The name of my weapon. It was enough for Sesshomaru to falter with Bakusaiga. And that gave me all the chance I needed.

_Akemi_

The way Kagome moved was beautiful. Well, once she got her bearings and her sword called out to her. There was no denying her potential, Akemi knew that.

"She has heard it," Toutousai stated calmly. Keiko held onto a terrified Shippou as they watched the battle unfold.

"Is Kagome going to be okay?" to that, Shippou did not receive reply. It all depended on how well she listened to her weapon. Kagome sent her leg flying upward, effectively knocking her opponent down a peg. The way she jumped up showed more than a display of power as she grabbed her sword and held it up in a defensive stance. She didn't know what she was doing, that much was clear. But that didn't mean she was stupid.

"Kagome knows she cannot defeat Sesshomaru-sama without training and growing stronger. So she's resorted to blocking and protecting her body rather than charging head first," Toutousai said. "She is smart, she will not fail," he finished. This didn't seem to calm Shippou down anymore, but it did put Akemi's mind at ease.

_Kagome_

At each impact of his weapon against mine, I was pushed back a few feet. There were times when I almost fell backward. There were times where I thought I was going to die. But surely Sesshomaru wouldn't be so heartless as to kill me for making one smart remark. The next blow I received was quite possibly the worst. I could almost feel my arm breaking under the strain it was being put under. The focus I held on the pain in my arm gave Sesshomaru an opening. One I should not have allowed him to get.

"Weak," was all he said when he thrust his leg into my gut. I never took Sesshomaru to be one to hit a girl, especially that hard. The wind was knocked out of me and I gasped for breath as I felt my body slam against the hard ground. I coughed, red showing up on the dirt beneath me. Had he truly kicked me that hard? "Tell me, onna," I felt his foot slam down on my back and an even greater sense of pain erupted in my being. He lifted his foot up and off my back and gave me the chance to roll over and lye so that I was facing him. A cold stare met my black gaze and I could only imagine the sadistic ideas rushing through his mind right then. "Why is it that you hold the scent of my father? How is it that you, a weak woman, can taint his memory?" he asked me. I was still having trouble breathing, my inhaling deep and my exhaling shallow. I felt like I was going to pass out. I was dizzy and my head and body were killing me.

"I," my voice was barely audible, but I knew he could hear me. "Was given a choice," I told him. One of his eyebrows cocked up, but other than that, he was stoic as ever. "Your father, allowed me life, with the last of his power so I could be with Inuyasha again," I explained. I didn't, for the life of me, know why I was telling him all of this. It seemed to be an instinctive reaction. I saw him look up then and took that moment to squeeze my eyes shut at the pain coursing through me. I was hurt, badly at that, and I didn't know when I would heal. What was worse was that I didn't know when I would be able to get Keiko back home now. I felt horrible, utterly and completely horrible. I had failed them, just as I had failed everyone else. All of it was my fault. And I could not have felt worse if I were going to be honest with myself.

"Onna," Sesshomaru said, gaining my attention. "Get up," I looked at him. If only I could. "Now," I glared at him and then attempted to move. Groaning, I managed to sit up, and using Kaminoshi, I stood shakily on the legs that had endured so much. If I had been human, I would be dead right now, of that I was sure. "Return to them, I have no further use for you," my eyes widened and my mouth dropped. Did he really just order me to leave his presence after he had descended upon me? Oh hell no.

"Look, _Sesshomaru_. My name is Kagome. Ka-go-me. _Not _onna! And I do believe you should be the one to leave as you're the one who interrupted _my_ travels," I said to him. Sesshomaru's expression remained vacant. But I was sure he wouldn't do anything else to me. I would not let this prick of a taiyoukai push me around. I was better than that; I just had to remember that fact. I had to never forget it or I would lose myself again. Not that I had particularly found myself over the course of the past week. I had to admit though, I was surprised when Sesshomaru turned and began walking away. He was a good ten feet away when I heard my friends rushing over to me. I looked down at my sword, thankful for its existence. If I didn't have this sword, I would probably be dead all over again. It was a rather humbling experience.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Akemi exclaimed, her body slamming into mine. I cried out in pain and fell to my knees holding my left arm and discarding my weapon. It clattered to the ground and Shippou rushed over to me.

"Kagome!" he cried. I hissed, holding in the cries of agony and managed to give him a smile through it all. He had tears in his eyes. "I'm so glad you're okay," he sobbed. I almost laughed, but my stomach hurt so much that I did not dare to even try. Keiko stood next to Akemi; she looked too nervous to say anything, but I gave her a smile as well and hoped that it would reassure them that I was okay and that I would _be_ okay from here on out. If only I knew for certain what the future held, then maybe I could control my own destiny for once.

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><p><em><strong>Mm, that was chapter seven. It was longer and I'm very happy about that. But anyway, remember to review and let me know what you all think! It's much appreciated! Until next time.<strong>_

___**XOXO, Alaska**_


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